Victorious Families realize they need to be intentional in raising their children.
Like a lot of parents in that active, high-energy phase of life, their marriage had been slowly taking a back seat to the exhausting, child-centered challenges of each day’s little dramas. Not as though they ever really sat down and discussed their marriage much, except in short-tempered bursts of frustration, rarely in constructive ways that led to any consensus solutions. But they each knew their marriage was becoming less enjoyable and connected than either of them wanted it to be. And as far as their parenting? Well, they felt like they were probably doing that part okay . . . or were they? They couldn’t really tell. I mean, they did stuff together, went to church together, took trips to the zoo and the aquarium together—you know, all the things you do with excitable little kids around the house. But just because they’d gotten pretty good at overseeing a lot of noise and movement, did that mean they were fulfilling their main functions as parents? Not sure. And they wanted to start being sure. Because after all, school was coming soon. Things were going to change for them as parents. They’d have less direct influence on their children. More worries. (You’ve always have worries with kids.) More issues. (You’ve always got issues with kids.) Maybe trying to get a better spiritual handle on them would keep those issues to a minimum.
So basically, they thought being more deliberate and systematic in training their children spiritually would make them better as parents. More focused. More on top of things. And while they soon began to see a few little encouraging improvements here and there, enough to make them glad they’d chosen to zero in on the growing faith of their growing children, something else also started happening . . . something they didn’t expect.
Their marriage began markedly improving.
They could tell they were growing closer again as a couple.
When you think about it, why shouldn’t this happen? Whenever a leader starts bringing clearer direction, focus, and goals to an organization, the bottom-line sales growth or market share—or however the organization measures itself—is not the only place you expect to see welcome change. Better productivity, employee satisfaction, team spirit, creative thinking—it all starts pointing up, becoming more positive. And the same thing happens at home. The leader steps up with clearer direction, focus, and goals on where they’re going as a family, and pretty soon, little pockets of improvement start popping up all over the house, in everyone’s relationship, in places that weren’t even the main center of attention at first.
One of those sparks of change, of course, is prayer. I’ve already mentioned, I think, that fewer than 10 percent of families ever pray together, beyond maybe a mealtime blessing or their kids’ bedtime prayers. But what do you think happens when now you’re holding hands and praying on purpose, at the drop of a hat, as standard operating procedure for how the household functions? A little more unity begins to build between everyone.
Plus, you’re simply talking more. About more significant things. Not every second of the day, but a lot more than you once did. Simply the practice of being intentional about asking your kids what they learned at church, what they see in a Bible story, what they want you to be praying about—it’s causing new kinds of conversations to happen. You’re worshiping differently. You’re scheduling your day differently. You’re noticing things more. You’re doing little kindnesses that used to fly through your head on occasion but rarely made it all the way down to the ground into action. Maybe you’re even eating together again, where up till now you’d perhaps gotten into the habit of grabbing a plate and going off in all directions.
I don’t know. The point is, life beforehand had been scattered among each person’s own little worlds, a spinning network of loosely connected planets that basically functioned independently of one another. But now you’ve brought the center of gravity into one place—the spiritual direction of your family. And now, as a group, you more consistently orbit around the plans and the will and the Word of God, which is starting to affect not only your children but also their parents. And their parents’ marriage. And probably a lot more than that.
And that’s what you can legitimately expect as God begins to work through your courageous sense of humility and willingness, creating a plan to lead your family on the most important journey of their lives. Of all of your lives.
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