Victorious Family

Do Your Children Believe?

By Terence Chatmon
(Adapted from the book Do Your Children Believe? available at VictoriousFamily.org/resources)

There are few questions that pierce the heart of a parent or faith leader more deeply than this:

Do your Children Believe?

For many, this question opens a well of quiet pain. It’s the ache of a mother who has prayed over her child’s bed for years yet still sees no evidence of faith. It’s the burden of a father who has taught God’s Word faithfully but watches his grown children drift from the truth. It’s the heartache of a pastor or faith leader who has dedicated a lifetime to building the faith of others, only to wonder whether his own children will carry that faith forward.

Behind the smiles and Sunday morning greetings, many Christian parents live with this private sorrow — a gnawing question that never quite goes away: Have I failed?

We imagine that if we’d only done more family devotions, prayed more consistently, or said the right words at the right moments, things might have turned out differently. We question whether our example was strong enough, our witness clear enough, or our discipline loving enough. And when our children struggle with doubt, rebellion, or disinterest in faith, the pain can feel personal — like a reflection of our inadequacy.

But the truth is, even the most faithful parents cannot control the outcome of their children’s faith journey. We can teach, model, pray, and encourage, but we cannot redeem. That power belongs to God alone.

When Joy Arrives

For other parents and leaders, this same question brings tears of gratitude and joy. They have seen firsthand what only the Holy Spirit can do. Their children — whether at age six or forty — have come to faith in Jesus Christ. They’ve watched the light of the gospel ignite in their hearts.

Sometimes, that transformation comes quickly — the fruit of years of prayer and intentional discipleship. Other times, it comes after years of wandering or crisis. But when it comes, it feels like watching a miracle unfold before your eyes. The tears flow, not from fear or grief, but from awe.

As the Apostle John wrote, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth” (3 John 1:4). There is no joy quite like it — the deep, soul-level rejoicing that comes when you see your children embrace Christ not just as their parents’ Savior, but as their own.

We Plant. He Transforms.

This truth — that we are called to plant, not to produce — offers both comfort and freedom. Paul said it best: “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So, neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth” (1 Corinthians 3:6–7).

We plant the seeds of truth through our love, our example, and our words. We water them with prayer, consistency, and grace. But only God brings the growth. Only the Holy Spirit can transform a heart.

This perspective changes everything. It relieves the guilt that so many parents carry and refocuses our energy on what God has called us to do — to be faithful gardeners of the next generation.

Our role is not to control, but to cultivate. Not to coerce, but to care. Not to redeem, but to reflect the Redeemer.

Intentional Parenting and Legacy

That’s why I wrote Do Your Children Believe? Becoming Intentional About Your Family’s Faith and Spiritual Legacy. After years in corporate leadership, I realized that I had been strategic and intentional in every area of my professional life — but not nearly as intentional in how I was discipling my own family.

That realization changed everything. I began applying the same principles of vision, mission, and values that guide successful organizations to my role as a father and spiritual leader of my home. Out of that journey came a framework for helping parents and leaders create a family discipleship plan — one that helps them clarify what they believe, define the kind of family culture they want to build, and take practical steps to pass on faith from generation to generation.

At Victorious Family, our mission is to equip families to live and love like Jesus — to make faith formation at home both intentional and attainable. The Do Your Children Believe? book and companion resources, available at VictoriousFamily.org/resources, are designed to help parents develop a family discipleship strategy rooted in biblical truth. When families become intentional, homes are transformed — and those homes become lights that shine the gospel into a watching world.

For the Hopeful and the Hurting

If your children don’t yet believe, take heart. The story isn’t finished. Keep planting. Keep praying. Keep showing them the love of Christ. You may not see the fruit today, but that doesn’t mean the seed isn’t growing beneath the surface. God’s timing is perfect, and His arm is not too short to save.

If your children do believe, rejoice — not as one who succeeded, but as one who has witnessed the miracle of grace. Celebrate what only the Holy Spirit could do.

Either way, hold fast to this truth: You have the privilege of planting, but God alone holds the power to transform.

So, keep your hands in the soil of faith. Keep sowing seeds of truth and love. And trust that the God who began a good work in your family will be faithful to bring it to completion (Philippians 1:6).

Because in the end, the hope of every believing parent and faith leader rests not in our efforts, but in His power.

We plant. He transforms.

Resource Note:
To go deeper into this topic or to create a family discipleship plan, order Do Your Children Believe? and its accompanying study materials at www.victoriousfamily.org/resources. Every purchase supports the mission of Victorious Family — helping homes everywhere become centers of faith, love, and legacy. Equipping a generation to reach a generation.