Victorious Family

The part that makes our individual testimonies so fascinating is that while each one centers around a single nucleus—personal relationship with Jesus Christ—every story is still entirely unique. It’s our own. No two of these spiritual journeys—like no two snowflakes, or fingerprints, or Sunday morning talk show opinions—are ever quite the same.

Our families are like that too. Many things are similar between us, general patterns of makeup and composition that are common to most every home. And yet each of our families still bears its own distinctiveness—in its background and spiritual legacy (as we’ve seen), in personal experience (as we’ve seen), as well as in the nature of our values and priorities (as we’re about to see). We may be much the same, and yet . . . we’re different.

For instance, I’m sure you want your kids to be healthy, to be happy, to be successful at what they strive to do and accomplish. Same as all of us. I’m sure you want them to receive a quality education, to be afforded every opportunity for maximizing their potential, for getting the most out of their various gifts and abilities. Same as all of us. I’m sure you want them to enjoy good friendships and relationships, doing life with people who are encouraging and supportive, people who bring out the best in them instead of leading them astray into trouble and error. And as believers in Christ, of course, you want them to be faithful followers who live by the teachings of His Word, and who experience throughout their lifetimes a satisfying closeness with Him as they flesh out their own callings and serve others in His name. Same as all of us. We share a lot of common goals and values.

But here’s what happens. As long as we’re content to float along with these generic hopes and labels, without any more specific, focused awareness of what drives us as a family, what inspires us, what unites us, what fulfills God’s uniquely designed purpose for our children and our marriage . . . we leave ourselves open to scattershot and confusion. To the anytime whims of outside influences. To the clutter of overcrowded schedules and commitments. To the vein attempt of trying to be everything to everybody, and thereby not truly being ourselves, not building into our kids an anchored sense of identity, purpose, and direction.

So, I hope you see, as I begin talking about the importance of knowing your values, of having a vision, and then letting it all develop into a mission for your family, the scope of what this process can create in you goes far beyond just spiritual things, beyond merely what happens on family devotional night. I’m talking about life. I’m talking about parents like you who really want to guide your family well, who want to make solid decisions in terms of your children’s activities and future and areas of focus. You want to be sure you’re leading them wisely toward a clear destination, that you’re seeking out and saying yes to things that move you closer to where you’re wanting to go as a family, all while defending yourselves against detours and distractions that can only lead you further off course or unnecessarily delay the trip.

It’s simply hard to do this job well or feel very confident at the wheel when the lanes aren’t clearly marked, when visibility through the windshield is low and foggy. You may be driving the best you can, the best you know how. As I’m sure you are. But if you haven’t thought through your values and written them down—if you haven’t come together around at least a general consensus on what you’re trying to be and do, in obedience to what God both desires and deserves—if you don’t have a map—then you’re always just guessing. You’re playing hunches. Navigating by feel. Which (and I speak from experience when I say this) makes it much more likely you’ll miss a turn someplace. You’ll run a stop sign. You’ll hit a pothole. You’ll fork left when you should’ve forked right. You’ll get lost. And probably at the worst time, when everybody’s counting on you to know where you’re going.

So, I’m assuming you’ve already tried it that way. As I have. And I’m assuming you’re tired of it. As I was. Tired of trusting that your own reflexes and snap judgments will somehow be enough to keep you landing on your feet, instead of leading out with the steady consistency of someone who knows what your family is truly all about – leading with a vision, leading on a mission.

It all starts with knowing your values. Stay tuned for my next Blog post on values.

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